Ratings
by thegirlfrommod4A
Summary: How PG-13 turned into R


_Believe it or not, I just saw Crazy, Stupid, Love for the first time (perhaps because I don't own it) and just HAD to write for it. I mean...come on. Hannah/Jacob is wonderful. Dorks. I literally want to write everything about them. Forever. Enjoy the fic, feel free to review :)_

Jacob woke up, as he generally did, with his arm around a woman's shoulders and his nose in her hair. That, however, was the only normal thing, since, as the memories worked their way through his groggy brain, he realized he had not, in fact, slept with...Hannah. Her name was Hannah. His thoughts were interrupted by woman in question stirring awake, and blinking sleepily up at him.

"Hi"

"Hi," she mumbled back, then sat straight up.

"Damn it!"

"What?" Jacob asked, honestly rather perturbed by her sudden frustration.

"I specifically said I did not want this to be PG-13! I wanted to bang! I wanted to live a little! I wanted to stop being the boring girl!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, who says you're boring?" Jacob questioned, once he had collected his thoughts.

By this point, Hannah had clambered out of the bed and started to pull her dress back on.

"Liz. Not in a bad way though. Just...like...I never do anything adventurous." Hannah replied, digging a clip out of her purse and pulling her hair up as she continued, "Did you know she called me one night when I was studying to tell me you were at the bar? Told me I should be studying your ceiling. Yeah. So last night I decided to do something crazy, and I figured you would be it. But apparently I'm destined to never reach Rated R." She finished, sinking into a chair for a moment before springing back up to tug on her shoes.

"Well, I mean, it wasn't exactly how you said it would be. You were the one to kiss my cheek after all," Jacob tried to joke, sitting upright as she checked herself in the mirror.

"Yeah, well, congratulations. That's the most action either of us got post-bar," she said, and walked out the door.

It took all of 10 seconds for Jacob to decide that no, he was not going to let her go. Goodness knew he probably would have if they'd slept together, but they hadn't. Instead, they had talked for 6 hours straight, (making sure to mention "and then we'll bang," every 30 minutes or so,) and fallen asleep, and for the love of God for the first time in his life he had told a girl about his mother and for some reason that made him want to sit in the kitchen with her and eat breakfast.

He made it to the stoop, and, seeing her about 2 blocks away, considered calling after her from the doorway before deciding he looked good enough shirtless to run for it.

* * *

30 minutes later, he was choking on a bite of omelet as Hannah told him the story of the first time she held her little brother and almost dropped him when he spit up on her.

"It was my favorite shirt! Don't laugh!" she protested halfheartedly as he chuckled. "This is excellent by the way," she added, taking another bite of her own breakfast.

"Why thank you. I'm a man of many talents."

"And so modest too," she teased.

"I mean..." Jacob trailed off, gesturing at his still-exposed abs with the hand not holding a fork.

"You're awful," Hannah admonished, rolling her eyes and taking a long sip of her coffee.

"Mmmh! Perfect!" she sighed, throwing her head back. "Thank the heavens!"

The light caught her freed hair, turning it red-gold against the pale skin of her neck, and Jacob was reminded, forcefully, of that first night at the bar when he couldn't take his eyes off her for a solid two hours. He had never stopped noticing her beauty but just then...her head came forward again, and their eyes locked. Slowly, carefully, he leaned in, and was happy that she was doing the same. But still...

"Do you find me attractive?" He asked, low and serious, just before their lips touched.

She let out a little huff of laughter.

"God yes."

And before he could close the distance, she did.

"You're sexy," he whispered when they broke apart for a breath.

"Prove it."

They leaned back in, and, this time, Jacob rested his hands on her waist to when he stood, he could easily lift her. Hannah's legs wrapped around his waist, shoes clattering to the floor, and he carried her back to the bedroom, leaving the remains of their omelets to grow cold.

* * *

"Oh," Hannah sighed, her hips arching up to meet solid pecs. Having started with some solid work on her neck, Jacob had been steadily working his way along her body for...however long it had been since they had abandoned their breakfasts. Her every nerve ending was on edge and her fingers gripped into Jacob's shoulders as he planted slow kisses down her stomach.

She writhed on the bed as finally, finally, his mouth made it between her legs. He took an experimental lick and her body arched up to meet him as her mind went blank.

"Fuuuuuck," she groaned.

Jacob's right hand drew slow circles on her hip as he nudged her clit with his tongue. He continued eating her out, sucking and licking between her legs as his left hand stroked down her side and followed the V of her pelvis in. Still playing with her with his mouth, two of Jacob's fingers made their way inside of her, quickly followed by a third. She gave a short little gasp of surprise, with barely a second to process before he started moving the digits, reaching to find her g-spot. Hannah moaned when he found it, and a minute later her body went taught, mouth frozen in a silent "O" as the orgasm overtook her. Jacob worked her through it, prolonging the experience and leaving her a shuddering mess by the end.

When her brain had stopped leaking out of her ears, Hannah rolled to her side to face Jacob, who had come up beside her.

"R-rated enough?" He asked, raising his brows.

She kissed him in lieu of answering, reaching a hand down to get ride of his belt and then pushing her hand into his underwear to stroke at his already hard length. They shifted closer together, her hand spreading precum around his tip, and then she kissed her way down his abs, stroking the with reverent and no-longer-cold fingers as she went. When she got to Jacob's waist, she slid off the bed to pull off his pants and underwear, lifting his ankles to remove each leg as Jacob lay back.

"Condom?" she asked, and he reached over to his bedside table to toss her one.

When she had slid it on to him, pumping a couple of times for good measure, Hannah stood back up as he shifted so he was fully on the bed. Hannah crawled up between his legs until their bodies were aligned, then sank down on him slowly.

Jacob's hands returned to her waist and he guided her somewhat, helping to carry the weight. Mostly, however, Hannah rose and sank on him on her own, sometimes leaning forwards for a kiss or bite, sometimes sitting up for a deeper angle. She kept the pace relatively slow, both of them moaning at the steady friction. When he was so close he was nearly delirious, Jacob sat up with her.

"May I?" he whispered, and she nodded.

Jacob flipped them over and pounded into her, supporting himself on his left forearm and working Hannah with his right hand.

"Jacoooob," she keened, one hand gripping his shoulder and the other tugging the hair at the nape of his neck.

He ducked his head to give each breast a quick nip, then came back up to kiss her slowly, a contrast to the frantic motion of their thrusts.

"Oooh," she moaned into his mouth as she came around him and he followed, body spasming as he emptied into her, elbow failing to hold him up.

"God Hannah," he murmured into her shoulder, still shuddering. It was a few beats before he could take his weight off of her.

She made a little humming noise in the back of her throat as he got rid of the condom, coming back to bed to gather her into his arms.

When she made a little noise of protest, he spoke into her hair.

"Its Sunday. You've passed the bar. Where else do you have to be?"

Hannah looked up at him, eyes widened in surprise, before a grin spread across her face.

"Nowhere." she declared. "There is nowhere else I have to be."

* * *

Thursday night, Jacob shifted his weight back and forth, waiting on Hannah's doorstep with a bouquet of lilies. Her favorite. When he knocked on the door, she opened it right away in a gold dress with cutouts in exactly the right places to make him weep. Seeing the flowers, she let him in with an almost-shy "hello," ("Hi") and got a vase to put them in. They stepped into the hallway, Hannah locked the apartment door, and Jacob offered her his arm, feeling more nervous than he could ever remember being.

"So." Jacob asked as she took it, and they started descending the stairs, "Ready for our first date?"

"Absolutely" Hannah replied.


End file.
